Rambo V: Last Blood (2019)
By The Gorilla
This review contains spoilers
Our lord and savior Sylvester Stallone is back with a vengeance and nobody is safe, especially the Mexicans. John Rambo, the most epic Vietnam War-going, PTSD-having, weapon of mass destruction is not done yet and when the Mexican drug cartels kill his surrogate daughter (Yvette Monreal), he travels all the way across the border to deliver righteous ass whooping to the villains. Only this time, John is Rambo only in name, as the franchise takes a weird turn into the (slight) torture porn realm, forgetting about its protagonist and the themes of the saga.
Before we start, a quick disclaimer. Whatever Sylvester Stallone does—or Arnold Scharzenegger, Jet Li and other Gods of Epicness—should win all the Oscars in the rosters and then some. He is the Enlightened One, come down on Earth to teach virgins how to be men. He never does anything wrong and his movies are all masterpieces. However, from time to time, in his great omniscience, He decides to test the faith of his followers. He thus delivers us cinematic products that average heathens might normally call subpar or garbagé (in French) to see who is a true believer and who needs to be obliterated.
The writing gorilla here has no intention to die yet, so my opinion is aimed at the movie per se. I’m not trying to be cute in any way or take shots at the One, just give an objective assessment of the last Rambo movie (which I loved and I think it was the best movie in the history of cinema since John Rambo in 2008).
Having said that, Last Blood (2019), directed by Adrian Grunberg, is the worst Rambo film in the series, because it isn’t a Rambo film at all. As Stallone's personal exploit, it is genuinely great—he clearly took the failure of The Expendables III (2014) to heart, ramping up the violence to a hundred—but as the conclusion in the great Rambo saga? No, it’s terrible. First of all, the movie is unusually dark and cynical. The kidnapping, torture, and final death of Gabrielle (his surrogate daughter) felt unnecessary and seemed to be added just as a narrative device to unleash Rambo on the bad guys.
Secondly, the very own essence of Rambo is that of a normal man, turned into a war machine, who always tries to resist violence until, provoked, fights back. Here we have none of that: Rambo doesn’t seem like a man who spent his last ten years in peace, as far away as possible from combat, but rather like someone who has been waiting for war all along. He is aggressive and brutal, longing for murder and prone to violence as the first response to any conflict.
Thirdly, and most importantly: Rambo is about hope. It’s about the hope that at the end of the day, things go well—that at the end, you can still go back home. It is me knowing that my girlfriend, the panda, will wait for me even now that we are apart. Last Blood was hopeless from beginning to end.
And the ending, with him riding away in the sunset after being shot in the stomach? Rambo please! What kind of conclusion is that? It was such a mercenary move that I roared so loudly I woke up the neighbors and now they want to send me to a zoo. But it won’t happen.
Grunberg’s direction was poor and unfocused, always cutting a few seconds too early, never letting us feel the emotions of the characters around Rambo—he seemed more intent on rushing quickly to the violence than building a heartfelt sendoff for the protagonist. But although it could be easy to blame the whole failure of the movie on him, others need to be held accountable as well. If you check out the Behind The Scenes here, you can see that there were two directors on set: Adrian Grunberg and Sylvester Stallone (who also co-wrote the script)—and that’s rarely a good thing.
The movie did however make me feel for the tragedy of the protagonist, and the violence at the end was incredibly satisfying. The last kill was so epic that the whole screen blew in my face and now I have to buy a new TV. This is also why I tell all those babies who felt the depiction of Mexicans to be racist to sit down before spilling their milk. The movie is peopled with positive Latino characters, and the drug cartels are supposed to be the worst—regardless of ethnicity—to make the vengeance at the end work. It’s basic storytelling. So beat it nerds!
Rambo V: Last Blood was unnecessarily violent and cynical. It betrayed John’s soul and the core themes of the series. Taken as a vehicle for Stallone, it’s fun and gratifying, but if you are looking for Rambo, look elsewhere. I choose to remember him as he walks back home at the end of John Rambo as a worthy conclusion to the story of the man, who for so long couldn’t find peace.
I hear the zookeepers beating at the door, so I got to run. No time for my very gorilla nap today.
The Gorilla watches movies, The Gorilla thinks, The Gorilla does reviews. He is very opinionated, which sometimes drives his girlfriend, The Panda, crazy. He also likes alcoholic bananas, back scratches, and long naps in the sun.
